As a mother of four kids, I have many, many friends becoming new moms who send me middle of the night worried texts, phone calls or emails. The biggest concern in those first few days and weeks is "Is my baby getting milk?" or "How do I know milk is coming out of my boobs?!"

Some are put at ease during the first well child check and find out their baby is growing despite their endless nights of worry. However, there have been a select few who have called me from the doctor's parking lot hiccuping back sobs because their babylost weight because it wasn't getting enough from mom. The guilt these moms experience is debilitating. Some switch to formula out of desperation, some take up exclusively pumping to monitor output, some follow-up breastfeeding with pumping to make sure their breasts are empty.

But, the big question is: How can doing what you feel is best for your baby sometimes be starving them?

Turns out, my friends aren't an enigma. There are plenty of mothers out there who have not only had their babies lose weight, but some have ended in starvation. Some women have actually had their precious babies die because they didn't know they weren't getting any nutrients from their breasts.

Below are the 15 most common reasons breastfeeding could lead to starvation, so you can be prepared and educated before your baby arrives and avoid the painful mom guilt or worse that can come from incorrect breastfeeding.

15/15 Missing Child Check Ups

This is an extremely crucial point -- those appointments may seem never-ending and, weren't you just at the pediatrician's office? Can't it wait another week or two? Everything seems just fine. Can't we skip it? No. These are put in place to make sure the red flags are spotted early.

One of the key points of a well child check-up is tracking your infant's weight. Doctors are checking to make sure no more than 7% of body weight is lost by the baby at any point to ensure she is getting enough nutrients from her mother's milk. Not only can losing a higher percentage be fatal, it also can cause jaundice and hypoglycemia.

Before you take matters into your own hands with your scale at home, it is advised actual physical doctor's appointments are vital in managing your infant's care. Doctors have specific measuring instruments and methods that are used methodically during each visit to the doctor's office.

14/15 Not Correctly Hand Expressing

So, you're milk comes in a couple days after birth. You know because you can feel it. Your baby latches and that's it, right? Wrong. It is still very important to regularly check your breasts for milk.

Before each breastfeeding session, you must take your breast in your hand and massage until milk comes out. Yes, before every single feeding. Not only could your milk supply be reducing, but you could have a clogged duct that is keeping milk from making its way out the nipple.

First, wash your hand with warm water and soap. Then, gently massage the breast to stimulate your milk to be let down. Next, squeeze your breast keeping your thumb and forefinger near the areola. Don't do this too hard, it shouldn't hurt. Use a rhythm of pressure and release, mimicking the suckling patterns of a baby. Drops of milk should start to come out aft er afew minutes of these steps.

13/15 Relying On Wet And Dry Diapers

Relying on wet and dry diapers is not the only way to monitor breastfeeding starvation.

I had twins. I know how exhausting it is to constantly be documenting each diaper change. It seems pointless and obnoxious, especially during the wee hours when it hurts to be awake. We are told from day one to keep track and as long we we see poop and pee, they are getting enough milk from the breast. However, experts say this is not always an accurate method.

A study in the Journal of Human Lactationshowed that even infants who had regular wet and soiled diapers developed abnormal weight loss of greater than 10%.

"Weighing the baby and the amount of milk transferred to the baby is the only objective measure of adequate feeding," said Christie del Castillo-Hegyi, M.D., an emergency physician who researches infant brain injury and breastfeeding issues. She is also the co-founder of Fed is Best.

Keeping track of your baby's wet and soiled diapers should not be discounted for other reasons, however, just not to be solely relied on to ensure proper nutrients are getting in your infant's body.

12/15 Refusing To Supplement With Formula

Offering formula after breastfeeding ensures infants are not starving.

Over the years, mothers have been told over and over breast is best. Formula is a last resort. However, doctors at the organization Fed Is Best assure mothers formula is marginally different than breastmilk -- and a much better option that starvation.

Doctors advised following up on breastfeeding session with an ounce of formula to ensure the baby is eating as much as needed. The thought process that if a baby keeps feeding more milk will come isn't always the case. Once the mother feels her breasts empty, offer the baby a bottle of formula. This ensures, no matter what, the baby is getting nutrients in one way or another.

Many breastfeeding advocates tell mothers that offering a breastfed baby a bottle will make the baby refuse the breast. However, officials at Fed Is Best disagree.

"The bottom line is that while unlimited supplementation and abandonment of breastfeeding will cause breastfeeding to cease, limited supplementation of an underfed newborn after nursing provides a child his nutritional needs and improves his neurologically-intact survival while preserving the breastfeeding relationship a mother may desire," del Castillo-Hegyi said.

11/15 Not Listening To Mother's Intuition

Even if this is your first child, even if your baby is a few days old and you don't think you know what you're doing, if you feel like something is amiss with your breastfeeding or your child, in general, seek guidance.

First of all, bring up all of your concerns to your pediatrician. Do not worry about seeming stupid or inexperienced, that is what you are paying a professional to help you with. Also, if you feel like your issues aren't properly being addressed, try out a new pediatrician. Make sure you have someone you feel completely at ease with.

For breastfeeding resources, the hospital you delivery your baby in should have a lactation department or, at the very least, a lactation specialist. Ask that person what you should do or who you should contact if you have questions when you get home. They want nothing more than for you to be successful breastfeeding. Also, the La Leche League has local chapters to meet lactation experts and discuss your options.

10/15 Too Afraid To Pump

I was an exclusive pumper, so I get the hesitation behind all of the steps and devices needed to pump breast milk. It's so much easier to just unbutton your shirt and plop your nipple in your baby's mouth, right? Well, don't be afraid to check your output from time to time.

One hesitation is that the baby could become used to the bottle and refuse your nipple -- as we discussed earlier, this has been disproven and should not happen to your child. It would put your mind at ease if you hooked yourself up to the pump and checked to see how much milk you produce each feeding.

Another worry for breastfeeding mothers is the cost of the pump itself, however, most insurance companies now cover at least a basic, electric breast pump. Otherwise, your local WIC office may have resources for you to get something affordable or possibly free.

Also, many think it's too much work. However, I loved being an exclusive pumper. I didn't worry about how much my baby drank, other people could feed them, I could stockpile frozen milk to be done breastfeeding sooner and I had an extreme fear of falling asleep feeding and suffocating my baby. So, I opted for the less stressful route. Less stress also means more milk. Win win!

9/15 Not Having A Feeding Plan

It always surprises me how women can go from intensely painful birth or surgery to being handed a baby and wished good luck. There's literally minutes between birth and needing to feed your baby. Sometimes, having a plan in place to mindlessly follow while you get your wit's about you can help your body recover and feed your baby suitably.

There are many different calendars and schedules out there (Pinterest, of course) that are specifically created with your particular baby's age in mind. This allows you to know when they should be eating, for how long and what cues you should be listening for.

This will take out a great amount of guesswork. Especially considering 22% of mothers have a delay in breast milk production which increases the chances of health complications seven-fold for your baby.

8/15 Oral Issues For Baby

Tongue tie issues can cause starvation in babies.

Sometimes, all might seem like it's working well. You hand expressed milk and made sure it's coming out, your baby is sucking and sucking, you feed for 15 minutes each side and your little one falls asleep soundly in your arms. However, if they are still not thriving, this could be because of oral issues for your little one.

An obvious oral issue would be a cleft palette. This is something your child's pediatrician would be aware of immediately and work together with you to create a successful latch.

However, tongue ties are lesser known and can cause the baby to struggle to actually latch on your nipple and swallow the milk. It is merely extended tissue on the underside of the tongue, make it difficult to lift tongue in proper motions. Babies spend all of their energy suckling and wear themselves out. It seems like they are full because they fall asleep, however, they will be back awake shortly and starving.

One way to help this problem is to finger feed your baby prior to latching on the breast. Just let your baby suckle your finger since it most closely resembles the nipple and will avoid nipple confusion, if that's something you are concerned about.

7/15 Being Ruled By Mom Guilt

Mom guilt can lead to undue harm for your baby.

In the era of social media and the internet, it's nearly impossible not to find someone's opinion that will strike a chord of doubt. This is especially true for new moms trying to wade through mass information and find help -- don't be afraid to do what's best for your child.

It doesn't matter if your mother-in-law will poo-poo formula while you wait for your milk to come in or the neighbor tells you he knows formula is poison or your friend thinks you aren't trying hard enough to breastfeed. That all doesn't matter. What matter is that baby and your ability to keep it fed. You have to do what you have to do.

Find friends and groups of like-minded mommies who you can vent your frustrations to. Join mommy Facebook groups and group chats to have voices of reason when you're worried and you can be completely honest with. Find your tribe -- you are going to need them. Don't let the mom guilt cause undue harm to your child.

6/15 Relying On Instincts

Relying on instincts can cause issues when attempting to breastfeed.

While it's true breastfeeding is a natural process that billions of women have done for thousands of years there does need to be preparation and learning in order to be a successful breastfeeding mother.

Even if you're only resource is a fellow mother who breastfeeds successfully, you need to have in-depth conversations on the ins and outs of feeding your baby with this method. This isn't as simple as being handed a baby and putting your nipple in her mouth and having all things work perfectly. There are a millions issues you may face, schedules you need to plan and signs you need to look for.

Again, fellow breastfeeding mothers are a great resource (if for nothing more than to vent), as well as the La Leche League, your hospital staff and social media groups where you'll meet many other mommies facing the same issues you will come across.

5/15 Not Having Supportive Medical Staff

Unsupportive hospital staff can lead to major issues during breastfeeding.

Do you feel like doctors aren't listening to you during your hospital stay? Do you feel that you're being dismissed or barely listened to? Does their advice feel inconsistent with the issues at hand? This is not okay, and a second opinion is vital.

While doctors ultimately believe they have the best intentions for you and your baby, they are not perfect. I have experienced firsthand a doctor dismissing my son's illness as "completely normal" without so much as lifting a stethoscope. This is not okay. Doctors need to listen to you and put you at ease.

If you feel neglected or unheard, don't stop until you find a doctor who at least explains procedures and opinions in a way you agree with. These doctors see you for a few minutes out of their busy day -- they aren't with your baby 24/7 like you are.You are your family's advocate.

Skin to skin contact is a vital part of the breastfeeding process.

Many studies have been released showing the importance of skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby immediately following birth -- as soon as possible.

We're talking right away -- as soon as you're physically able to -- you'll want to lay your naked baby (no blanket) on your naked chest. This As far as breastfeeding is concerned, babies you were given skin-to-skin contact immediately following birth latched more quickly and better than other babies.

Also, skin-to-skin contact allows the baby to become colonized by the same bacteria as its mother -- not the same bacteria as an incubator. This, plus breastfeeding, has been found to deter allergic diseases in the baby.

Babies who have experienced skin-to-skin contact also have higher blood sugars, more regular body temps, are less likely to cry, have more stable blood pressure and heart ratesand are more likely to exclusively breastfeed longer than other infants.

Hospital routines -- like weighing the baby or cleaning the baby -- should not take precedence over this vital part of the birthing process.

3/15 Taking On Too Much

Taking on too much after having a baby can mean big issues during breastfeeding process.

Getting home from the hospital can be emotional tolling. Dirty bottles start piling up, laundry is exploding everywhere, dinners need to be made. However, mothers main concern those first few weeks should be bonding with and learning about their new babies.

First of all, I amthe most guilty of this. I am always good for one mental breakdown in weeks proceeding bringing a new baby home from the hospital. However, I am also the first to tell you how important this is.

Your baby is essentially a stranger. You need to learn its cries, whimpers, bond with it and spend as much time as possible with it. After all, being in the same room (even more with skin-to-skin) stimulates breastmilk production and makes mommy and baby much more happy.

Learn from my mistakes -- take the time to yourself.

2/15 Unsupportive Partner Or Family Member

Unsupportive partner can create major issues when it comes to breastfeeding mothers.

Nothing can throw a breastfeeding train off the tracks faster than a significant other who doesn't see the benefits of breastfeeding or understand the necessity of the process you're undertaking.

First of all, try to incorporate your significant other in your breastfeeding education. When you are visiting lactation support (hospital, local groups, online, whatever) include them in your process. This allows you both to learn the ins and outs.

This helps curb the frustration when your baby needs to cluster feed around the clock and your significant other doesn't understand the needs. It also helps when you feel frustrated or mentally and physically drained to have someone with you who can coach you back up.

Finally, any of the guilt you feel should be met with supportive help. If you decide to give your baby formula -- your partner needs to be on board for the main reason of keeping your baby fed and not losing body weight. They need to understand the medical need behind keeping your baby fed -- not matter if it's breast milk or formula.

1/15 Stressing Out Too Much

We get it -- how can you read an article about starving your baby and not get stressed out? However, it's vital to educate yourself and then learn to roll with the punches.

Surprisingly, the act of breastfeeding itself is a natural stress reliever. Look forward to your time with your infant as your relaxation time. It is nature's way of encouraging you to keep the process going. Don't obsess. Don't worry. Please don't Google. Just look at your baby's face, enjoy the proces and your milk will be flowing in no time.

Again, if it doesn't, you didn't do anything wrong. You tried your best. You did your best. Accepting the fact that sometimes it just doesn't work doesn't make you a bad mother. It actually makes you a great mother for knowing what is best for your child's safety and doing what it takes to keep them fed.

You're doing just fine, mommy.

Sources: Forbes, NHS, Fed Is Best, Breastfeeding Problems, Living With Low Milk Supply, Natural Child, Baby Center,